Growing Old...

Aye y'all,

I'm thirty-one and it feels GOOD!!



I was taking a stroll down memory lane, looking at old photographs and video footage, and it occurred to me that there are some things that I just plain and simple can not do. Overall, I think it's a great thing when people can age, become wiser, and yet still keep a youthful, fresh demeanor and physical appearance about themselves. However, it's extraordinarily lame when old folks try too hard to ACT young.

For example, if you're a male above 23 years of age, you should NOT wear a do-rag on your head in public like it's part of your outfit. That's not the hotness and it's incredibly lame. Also, if you're a teenage male or older with braids or cornrows, there is NO logical reason, whatsoever, to wear beads, barretts, rubberbands, or anything else in your hair that little girls wear in theirs. Time to grow the fuck up.



Also, if you're a female that's in your thirties (or close to it), you're too damn old to leave your house in nothing but your pajamas and hair rollers. There's NO excuse for that. Throw on some sweats and a cap or somethin'.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not claiming to be the most sophisticated and mature apple in the bunch, but I have realized that once you hit your 30's, you shouldn't carry yourself like you're in your teens. With that being said, I've concocted a small checklist for you guys to do a little self-evaluation as you come into age.

Oh yeah...feel free to add on to the list if you like...

***NUMERO UNO:

IF YOU'RE OVER 30 YR. OLD, YOU'RE TOO OLD TO SAG YOUR PANTS!!



Actually, I think sagging is pretty corny at any age, but if you're "grown", it's super ridiculous. Nothing's wrong with baggy pants that hang off your hips a little bit, but when muthafuckas can see your damn boxers, that's too fuckin' much!! The shyt's not cool.

***NUMBER TWO:

Piggy-backing off numero uno...guys, YOU'RE TOO OLD TO BE WEARING TALL TEES AND SHIRTS WITH GLITTER AND RHINESTONES ON IT!!

C'mon now, why is it so many "hardcore, street" niggas wearing fuckin' shiny shyt on their clothes. You shouldn't be rockin' the same type of gear that your kid sister and her crew is rockin'. It's impossible to keep up your fake gangsta persona when you have Tucan Sam and Fruit Loops on your damn jacket - trimmed with glitter and shyt homeboy.

Just cut that shyt out. Speaking of that...

***NUMBER THREE:

YOU'RE TOO OLD TO BE TRYIN' TO ACT OR LOOK HARD!!



"We don't believe you, you need more people..." - Jay-Z

***NUMBER FOUR:

YOU'RE TOO OLD TO DO CHOREOGRAPHED DANCE ROUTINES IN THE CLUB OR WHEREVER WITH YOUR HOMIES!!

As y'all know, Souljah Boy had a smash hit last year with his "Crank Dat" and the accompaning dance. It caught on like wild fire, became a youtube craze, celebrities started doing it on national television, and the rest is history. I can't knock the lil' dude's song cause hell, I grew up doing the "Pee-Wee Herman" and the "Humpty Dance" *smile* However, unless you get paid to dance, there's no reason for grown folks to be practicing in front of a mirror rehearsing and high-fiving each other when they've got their routine down. Imagine two old niggas talkin' bout, "Man, they gon' love us at the club when they see us doing this shyt!"...LOL!!

This goes for male and females.

Now, the ONLY exceptions to this rule is if you're at a wedding reception and they throw on some shyt like the "Electric Slide", "Cha Cha Slide", "The Hustle", or any of those other old, corny, community-based dance tunes. I'm not a fan of these dances and I sit back and laugh at the folks that do it most of the time, but society has embraced these jigs, so they are acceptable (I guess)...but only at wedding receptions, family reunions, and things of that nature.

***NUMERO CINCO:

YOU'RE TOO OLD TO NOT HAVE SAVINGS!!



People, once you hit a certain age, you need to definitely stop ALWAYS living in the day and look ahead to the future. Granted, many of us live check-to-check but I guarantee you, if you cut out some frivilous spending, you'll have SOMETHING to stash away for a rainy day. Whether it's in a bank or a brown paper bag, Stack Your Chips!!

***NUMBER SIX:

YOU'RE TOO OLD TO NOT OWN A SUIT OR A FORMAL DRESS!!



Even if your job doesn't consist of you getting dressed up, you never know when the circumstance may pop up for which you need to dress in something more formal than jeans and a t-shirt. And ladies, you definitely should not break out your hoochie clothes when going to that job interview, funeral, or church...for cryin' out loud!!

***NUMBER SEVEN:

YOU'RE TOO OLD TO BUMP YOUR MUSIC!!



Now before you get your panties in a bunch, let me explain. There is a CLEAR difference between BUMPING your music and just playing it loud. If you're in your ride and your jam comes on, by all means, Turn. That. Shyt. Up!! BUT, if your speakers reach a decimal in which legally you would need a festival or concert permit to play Pac's "Ambitions Of A Ridah", your old ass needs to turn that shyt down. If you're at a stop light and you're entrapping everybody's on the block eardrums to listen to what you're listening too, you're too old to be doing that ignorant shyt. I don't care if you're bumping Jill Scott or Funkadelic or Incognito, you shouldn't be in your thirties and BUMPING your music with no regard to others around you.


Now, that's just a few but they're plenty more out there.

What do you think????

Oh yeah...I'll leave you with a Classic Song and Video that's funny and cool...all at the same time...

Joeski Love "Pee Wee Dance"