Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Dollar, Dollar Bill Y'all....


Look, I love a good the one found over at the homies', Power and Awesome (GK and Luvvie), spot as they viciously went in on my man Dollar barred-style. I know it's all fun and games, but deez muthafathas got outta hand. We all know that "money talks" but they beat up on my dude so bad, he's been silenced.

Not to fear.

*Full Disclosure coming in 5...4...3...2...* Ya see, folks, Monk has a sensitive side. And GOTDAMMIIT I'm a fighter for the underdog. I got a tad offended by the way they left DB to die in a ditch. Therefore, it's my civic duty to speak up on this great, unjust travesty designed to smear the good name of my man lovingly known as "Buck". Ungrateful muafuggas they are!!

Feel free to check out their hilarious roast of Dollar Bill here.

*stepping to podium...taps mic*

Your Honor,

"Allow me re-introduce myself...My name is..." *hold up, wrong bad* I'm Attorney Council Monk Esq. III of George Muthafucking Washington and partners and I'm representing my dear ol' gracious friend, Dollar Bill.

With all due respect to the Lovely Luvvie and Grandioso Genius Khan...y'all some ingrate, repugnant, unappreciative, elitist ass kneegrows if I ever saw some.

Like fa real, after all Mr. Bill has done for you, this the muthfuckin' thanks he gets?? Fa Real????

To the judge and jury, I will present how these insidious, self-proclaimed "IGNANT", thankless sly-ass folks have unrighteously slandered the name of my client while totally ignoring his historic Greatness.

Now, in Every Black City, USA, there is one beverage that has always been a staple in the hood. If you guessed Coca-Cola (THE most popular brand ANYTHING on the world), please subtract one grade level from your "hood report card". If you guessed KOOL-AID, you are indeed correct. What does this has to do with the price of tea in China?? Absolutely nothing...BUT, Mr. Dollar Bill is single-handedly responsible for quenching the thirst of many hood folks across this vast land. You can go in the grocery store and easily rack up on a hundred thousand trillion packets of Kool-Aid in a variety of your most favoritest flavors...all for one Dollar Bill.

During P&A's roast, GK and Luvvie goes in on Mr. Bill's physical appearance ragging everything from his design to the smirking old face on it. However the sight of a crispy, vertically folded Dollar Bill can STILL get you:

a.) Preferential treatment from a bartender at a crowded bar where everyone else is trying to garner attention with "Hey's" and waving their empty hands.

b.) A young kid to do you a small favor like retrieving a bag of chips from the corner store for you.

c.) A sneak peek of a stripper's "pee-you-ess-ess-why" as she flirtaciously bats her eyes at you OR even a cheap feel if you place Mr. Bill in her thong just right.

Let's not forget that even though Dollar is the lowest valued US bill, when used the right way, it can make it seem like more than what it is. C'mon now, don't front...we've all at some point in time been guilty of using a knot of ones and putting a 20, 50, or 100 on top to make it look like we're ballllllin'. Shyt, as the saying goes, "Fake it 'til you make it." And in a capitalist society, perception is often construed as reality.

What would rap music be if it wasn't for my homie Dollar Bill? I know some of these cats are now jockin' euros and shyt, but think about the fabulous lines Mr. Bill has been a part of.

*"I'm about a DOLLAR, what the fuck is 50 Cent" - JayHova

*"Cash Rules Everything Around Me / C.R.E.A.M. Get the money / DOLLAR DOLLAR BILL y'all" - Method Man

*"Cuz my seconds, minutes, hours go to the almighty DOLLAR" - Lil' Weezy

*"I'm just another black man caught up in the mix / Tryin' to make a DOLLAR out of 15 cents" - Shock G

*"If it don't make DOLLARS, it don't make sense" - DJ Quik

I could go on and on but you get the point. If it wasn't for D. Bill, the greatness level of these songs would be taken down a notch.

In conclusion, judge and jury, I'd just like to say to all, lay off my man Dollar Bill. He's been having his Worst Year Ever, but he still my nigga.

Much love to Genius Khan and Luvvie!!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

My Favorite Song (Right Now) part TWO!!


If you're like me, you're not a fan of Jim Jones.
And when I say, "not a fan", I mean you think his ghastly lack of lyrical ability, obnoxiously pathetic flow, and fake gangsterisms is an atrocious example of what NOT to do as an artist.

With my utter disgust for him out the way, I still must say that this is the most bangingest joint out right now.

"Pop Champagne" by Jim Jones, Ron Brownz, and Juelz Santana

This is the perfect video when we're in the midst of possibly the most titanic recession the U.S. has ever experienced, ya think? Lol!! I'm not gonna hate though cause when they were just bugging out having fun, spraying champagne on each other, and all that (read: COONING), I thought it was They really had a good time I'd assume.

I was first hooked on the song when I heard it while listening to Ryan Cameron a few weeks ago. The beat dropped and I was in awe. I like simple Somewhat reminded me of the first time I heard the Clipse's "Grindin'" beat. The shyt just knocked!! And then Luda came on and ripped it. I'm thinkin', "Damn, I can't wait for Cris's new joint to drop!!"

Then, all of a sudden, this nigga comes and tries his hardest to fuck up his own song. *shaking my damn head* Luckily, I can just use my wack nigga earmuffs and focus on the beat while he attempts to rap.

Bottomline is...if you do not like this song or AT LEAST think it's "AIIGHT", then you must really REALLY be a Jim Jones hater. Trust me, it hurts for me to admit how dope it is, is.

This will actually be the theme song for my birthday, THE 16th, although I won't be poppin' champagne.

That is all.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008



I'll be the first to admit when I'm wrong.

And GOT DAMN, it feels SO GOOD to be wrong right now. America has elected a Black Man as their President. I knew in my heart of hearts that AmeriKKKa would never allow this to happen...lo and behold, I stand corrected.

I'm an Obama supporter and my only wish now is that the "bad apples" in America don't start trippin'. But I'm not going to entertain that right now.

Anyway, I hope everyone celebrate responsibly and don't neccessarily throw it up in Republican/McCain supporters in an exuberant way. There should be no "We Won Bytchez!!", "Take That Muthafuckaz!!", or "BooYah!!'s".

Keep in mind that there's a LOOONNNGGG road ahead and this is just one step (albeit a HUGE one) so let not get too lax. As the cliche' goes, this is checkers not chess.

So when addressing McCain/Palin supporters, just quietly say to them "checkmate".

That is all...and keep it moving.

In the words of the WU, "You best Protect Ya' Neck!!"

P.S. I am saddened that his grand mammy didn't live to see the day. I know the fact she didn't make it still weighs heavy on my dude.

P.S.S. Can we start a petition to paint the white house BLACK or is it too early?? Lol. Word to MC Breed.

P.S.S.S. I wonder what Bill Cosby has to say about have a Black President with a name like "BARACK"...I'm just asking...

Saturday, November 1, 2008

SNEAK PEEK: "VIXENS" coming soon to!!!!

What's Up My Good People,

Just droppin' off a couple of snippets from an internet television show I've been crafting for the past couple of months. The show is called "VIXENS" and it will be airing exclusively on soon. Here's a brief synopsis on the show:



With the popularity of music videos and urban lifestyle men's magazines such as King, Smooth, and Show, gorgeous ethnic women of all shades, shapes, and sizes have been given the opportunity to excel in the modeling industry - an industry that has been primarily designated for super-thin Caucasian models.

"Vixens" will showcase the hottest models as well as fresh, new faces that are ready to make their mark in this intriguing profession. In-depth interviews, behind the scenes of photo shoots, and fashion commentary with some of the industry's hottest stylists will provide insightful information that digs deep into the dirt of an industry known for its glitz and glamour.

We will also take the viewer on a 'Day In The Life'-journey with some of the hottest models as our cameras follow them throughout personal aspects of their life such as attending casting calls, going to the gym, working on other projects, their home life, etc..

Captivating testimonials, raw and candid dialogue, and breath-taking visuals all contribute to "Vixens", making it a unique series in filling a huge void in the entertainment business. For the first time, these beautiful faces and dynamic physiques are given a VOICE!!


Here's a few snippets to give you an idea of what to expect. You have to wait for the actual shows to get the full interviews and other exclusive features. "VIXENS" promo starring Challedon "Shy" Saltor from Presidential Television and Film on Vimeo.

Challedon "Shy" Saltor "VIXENS" snippet starring Jream from Presidential Television and Film on Vimeo.

Jream "VIXENS" snippet starring LaKeeda Kelly from Presidential Television and Film on Vimeo.

LaKeeda Kelly

If you're interested in being featured on "VIXENS", feel free to drop me an email at

Special Thanks also to Darnik aka Spock of 2Bold Entertainment, the models who allowed us the opportunity to give a behind the scenes look at what goes on in their lives and two of the most talented young brothers on the come up in the film game Tedric and Chancler.

I will be posting more snippets soon so check back....